Disclaimer: real names of places, people and events may have been altered or abbreviated to protect the innocent. Namely, me.
I am not sure if I interpreted this question correctly; I am hoping I got it right by assuming that you are contemplating a break up while he is willing to try harder to make the relationship work?
I admit I may be biased in my answer as my ex had left me in that same position: he had already decided that things should end, but he couldn’t let go of some benefits a relationship brought about as well. The dragging on of this break up did neither of us good and brought out the very worst in both him and me.
I wish that we had read this piece (Watson, 2013) before we had to deal with breaking up and such. Do give it a read; I believe it would be helpful for you in coming to your decision and to sticking with it.
Break ups hurt, for both the initiator and the dumped. Be strong! I cannot say with 100% honesty that I would endorse the choice to end it, having come from the position of being left stranded by somebody, but I am able to empathize very strongly with the struggle in you. It sounds really cold hearted to leave just because the current cons outweigh the pros; at the same time, you recognize that love is unable to overcome all obstacles and sometimes, it can be healthier to end things as opposed to dragging it on and causing even more unhappiness.
Take good care, of both your heart and his/hers.
Why ever not?!
I know it sounds utterly cliched, but it is the inside that counts. The one I really fell for in the past, he wasn’t quite exactly the buff lord types that I drool right over, but no buff lord can ever quite come close to competing against the really droolsome person that he is.
Oh man I hope you are all right there and that things have gotten better since earlier!
I am not the hugest fan of the dramatic Coming Out thing that has been romanticized in gay oriented works. If you look at it in terms of potential gains versus potential losses, it has a pretty poor track record in the local Singaporean context (I hate resorting to cliched explanations: a conservative local culture emphasizing collectivism and the family unit and all, but that seems to be a huge reason why people here appear to be accepting of homosexuality as an abstract concept but not when a family member comes out as gay).
Some potential gains: peace of mind, relief from having to keep one’s sexuality under wraps.
Some potential losses: disapproval, continued hiding of the outed person’s sexuality from the extended family, the very real possibility of losing economic support in a country that is quite possibly the most expensive to live in.
Oogachaga has some pretty helpful information (and counseling services) about coming out and all. Do consider contacting them if you require these services!
Above all, I hope everything goes over well over there! I’ve tried coming out to my parents once but they were extremely disapproving about the whole affair; it’s become a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell thing for us. Being staunch fundamentalist Christians, the parents have this idea that one day I would ‘repent and return to god’ and somehow shed all the behaviors they perceive as a willful choice to sin behind. Good luck to them for that!
I haven’t had a good laugh for a day now.
You know you’re down, let’s do this right now!
I am sorry!! Things often fall through the cracks when I get overwhelmed by everything in life and there are occasions when I see somebody’s text and make a mental note to reply later when I am more calm/sane/in a better mental state, and totally lose that mental note.
Try grabbing me on iMessage, Line or my email, I am statistically most likely to not lose your texts there!