Disclaimer: real names of places, people and events may have been altered or abbreviated to protect the innocent. Namely, me.
Well, it never hurts to
go in for the kill just try and be straightforward okay perhaps just be friendly and yourself (even though that rarely works for me in Real Life because I usually do something extremely embarrassing like tripping over my own feet or trying to make conversation and blurting something like “Hey! You’re… working out today?" while we are standing around the water cooler in the gym…) and all that stuff.
Okay so before I blather on (because I am basically blushing right now and you know who you are), I think the best course of action would be to play it kind of cool but still interested. Don’t go all creepo like swooping in and asking the person out for coffee in your very first interaction with that person like “HELLO I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH YOU CUTIE PIE CAN I TAKE YOU OUT FOR A ROMANTIC DATE?”; instead make small connecting sort of gestures like “Hey, you play Ace Attorney too? I loved the second game, Franziska rocks!” (and please don’t lie, because that would be way uncool if you are called out on it!). If the person likes you, he or she likes you; if he or she doesn’t, that is fine too. Not all attraction has to be reciprocated, and why put yourself through the misery of liking someone who doesn’t like you back when there are so many other people who would like you?
But that’s no excuse for not trying. Go you!
I admit that there is quite a huge digital trail I leave behind on the internet that may be hard to erase should I ever need to scrub it out for job hunting or whatever. That said, I would rather adopt an open and honest position with any employers who would wish to hire my services as opposed to like, putting up a fake and whitewashed facade and everything (it would be too psychically draining to keep that cover story up and presenting the perfect persona and stuff and quite frankly, it would be to both my employer and my benefit to simply put all that poop out of the way and direct our combined resources to accomplishing the tasks we agree are most important).
This is not a position that I would advise anyone to take without careful consideration though. Heck, it might even be something I may reconsider in the future before employment depending on the area of work I may find myself employed in. So… yeah.
My Instagram posts aren’t usually posted right on the spot (my photography workflow goes like: snap a bajillion photographs with Camera+, pick the nice ones out later when I am on my way home because it isn’t too polite to be poking at my iPhone in the middle of a social event, and do some touching up on them to bring out the nice features in them before finally saving them to my iPhone’s camera roll). I try to not post stuff on the same theme all in a row too; it would be pretty boring seeing like food food food food food or something like that spammed off in rapid succession. So yes, I guess my Instagram feed can pretty much be described as latergrams.
Thank you for this really sweet note, Anon! I am really, really flattered; I’m more or less your everyday basic klutzy ditz (or would that be ditzy klutz) who is lucky enough to have the chance to interact with all of you guys.
Do say hi! I won’t bite!
You sound like you are going through a really rough patch there, so here’s a huge hug for you! I hope that things have started looking up since you sent this to me? I can really relate to your feelings of being stuck in a position of unrequited love, the whole unfairness and anger towards it all.
Going over all the things you did and comparing that against what he did for you never works. It is all too easy to maximize our own suffering ("Can you believe I took that fucking one hour long bus ride to his school carrying his favorite sushi all just because he mentioned he was hungry when I could have been doing better things with my time like going for a manicure?!") and minimize that of his ("I never asked you to come over after work with that green tea latte anyway, so don’t you get all prissy and bitchy at me just because you’re sweating in your work clothes okay?!"), with the end result being that we will almost invariable end up with a conclusion skewed in our favor ("Oh my god poor me being taken advantaged of all the time!!!").
Expectations breed unhappiness and anxiety. What I found helpful for myself was recognizing that I have certain expectations towards some people and that these expectations are my own selfish ones alone. Which is pretty unfair to them, if I take a step back and think about it, because I am expecting them to be somebody they aren’t. And unfair to myself too, because all I am doing is setting myself up for, at best, okay-lor (since they just meet your expectations) and at worst, disappointment (when they fail to meet your expectations).
The expectations you have towards this person sound like they are causing you a lot of pain and pushing you towards making choices you normally wouldn’t do. Would ceasing contact with this person for a little while help in getting you back on stable ground, back into a calm state of mind and being able to make rational choices and see things as they are again? If so, that may be a choice worth considering and doing.